I’m off the ARRC!

I’m off the ARRC!

I’m off to ARRC this weekend… or for those not in the loop, The Australian Romance Readers Convention in Canberra.

I’m excited. I haven’t been for a few years, which is outrageous. These conferences are so much fun. The last one I went to involved waaaaaay to much booze and a stripper. But that’s another story.

This time around I’m on a panel called “A Touch of Magic.” I’m hosting a morning tea and doing an author signing.

I’m also looking forward to a drinks session where I finally get to meet other authors published by Momentum.

And I’m going to spend the weekend with hundreds of women who appreciate a good book boyfriend, generally know how to party and laugh… and all adore the written word.

Bring it on!

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Gratitude for dinner–a healthy meal for kids

Gratitude for dinner–a healthy meal for kids

Dinner is a big event in our home. Not because of the meal itself—I hate cooking and am the first to admit that what I serve up often doesn’t actually have a name. In fact, I’m thinking I might publish the Dunno Cookbook. Recipes like Dunno Pasta, Dunno Curry, Dunno Pie… so named because I dunno what’s in them…

But I digress…

So the food itself isn’t important to me. It’s healthy. They eat it. Case closed.

The reason dinner is a big event is because we all sit together every night and talk.

With four sons that talk often turns to penises, bodily functions and FIFA15. So I guide the conversation. Every night I ask the same two questions, and then we go around the table while they answer.

  1. What was the highlight of your day?
  2. What’s something you’re grateful for today?

They all roll their eyes… but they join in, probably out of habit more than any genuine enthusiasm. But that’s the key isn’t it? Habit. Do something for long enough… it becomes a habit, and we rarely question our habits.

Make those habits positive and beneficial, and there’s no need to question them.

I started this dinner question time years ago. We’re a blended family, and this dinner routine created cohesiveness. Also, we were in a situation where my partner’s children were arriving with new things every week. Expensive gifts. Huge Lego sets, toys, electronic devices. I’d always taught my own children that things had no meaning… that experiences were more valuable. We had two sets of kids under one roof, both being taught very different lessons. How did we deal with that?

Gratitude.

Both sets of kids had to learn to be grateful for what they had. And for very different reasons.

I started the dinner conversations about gratitude and week after week, after month, after year some interesting changes have taken place.

Firstly, my own kids very quickly stopped questioning the things the other boys brought home. They valued the experiences that they had. They were grateful that they had other opportunities and family dynamics that their stepbrothers didn’t have.

Next, my stepsons began to say thank you, and appreciate things in a way they hadn’t before. They stopped expecting, and started thanking. They started acknowledging small things as well as the big things.

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Then leading up to my younger son’s 9th birthday, we had this conversation:

HIM: “Mummy, for my birthday… I don’t want a “thing”… I have enough things…Can I have an experience instead?”

ME: “Sure honey, that’s an awesome idea.”

HIM: “Just not parachuting. I don’t want to skydive…”

ME: “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”

(You can read what I got him here.)

(And another blog about experiences not things here.)

The following year, all four boys asked for experiences rather than things.

My stepsons went from being completely confused by the concept of gratitude (during our first dinner conversation) to being thoughtful in their responses. They stopped asking for things all the time…

If I ever missed asking the questions at the dinner table, the youngest of the four boys reminded me.

Gratitude does get in!

Last Christmas our four sons woke to nothing… well no things. They had a box that they opened together… and in that box were details about an experience we will have as a family. In June we’re going to Angkor Watt in Cambodia. We’re doing it rough… and the boys were told they are expected to pitch in and work towards it. Six months is a long time for a child to wait for a Christmas present… but all four boys were so excited by the promise of this experience that they didn’t think twice about not opening the latest toy from China.

Consistently asking them to focus on gratitude has shaped them all. It has shaped us as a family, and defined what is important to us in our home. It has brought us stability as a unit, and that is especially important for blended families.

Daily gratitude is a very simple and effective tool for any family.

What are you having for dinner tonight?

 

Decluttering: a healthy habit all year long

Decluttering: a healthy habit all year long

February might not be our major decluttering month, but that doesn’t mean you let your stuff build back up around you. Each monthly challenge should become a new habit that then works in partnership with the other challenges. Serious change takes place when you commit to this.

Decluttering might not be your major focus this month, but it should be a healthy habit by now.

My linen cupboard… isn't it tidy!!!!
My linen cupboard… isn’t it tidy!!!!

Here are a few tips to keep the decluttering momentum going:

  • Just bought something new? Throw out two old things to make room for it.
  • Just spend 10-minutes a day doing SOMETHING to keep your house organised.
  • Waiting for the jug to boil? Tidy a pantry shelf or a cutlery drawer.
  • Be honest with yourself: who are you keeping all your stuff for?
  • Do you really need multiple products in the bathroom?
  • Every single day, find a place for three things that have been lying around.
  • Struggling with throwing out clothes? Do a one-year shelf and toss what hasn’t been worn in a year.
  • Same with books. Have a one-year shelf and toss what hasn’t been read in a year. (I’m doing this one at the moment… I didn’t realize I had so many “new” books to choose from.)
  • Just focus on one room at a time.
  • Remove yourself from unwanted newsletter and email lists.
  • Appreciate your space… clear space is very important.

 

Staying positive: 5 fabulous and inspiring sites

Staying positive: 5 fabulous and inspiring sites

Are you struggling with finding inspiring and positive media to immerse yourself in? Here are 5 fabulous and inspiring sites:

  1. Pinterest… I’ve talked about the rabbit hole of news and negativity. Well Pinterest is a rabbit hole of pretty pictures and positivity. Spend some time surfing Pinterest and you’re bound to be inspired.
  2. Positive news sites: Let’s focus on great news stories. We hear enough about what’s wrong with the world. Here’s what’s right with it.

http://positivenews.org.uk

http://goodnewsau.com

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/good-news/

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org

  1. TED: It’s been around for a long time now but TED is still an amazing portal into speeches and ideas that educate and inspire. Make it a regular hangout this year.
  2. TINY BUDDHA is a lovely site where you’ll find posts about happiness, motivation, inspiration, love, relationships, meaning, possibilities, mindfulness, and letting go. Bookmark it this month.
  3. What’s your passion? Travel, food, parenting? Go in search of your top three sites within that genre, bookmark them, and regularly spend time feeding your spirit there.

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February challenge: why are we doing it?

February challenge: why are we doing it?

Space is important. It’s vital for change. I don’t mean space from loved ones, or your own personal space. The Space I’m talking about is an essence that’s more difficult to access. It’s deeper. It’s not just pushing your partner over to his or her side of the bed.

This Space is where you connect to the True You.

When you understand what this Space is… once you can connect to it… it’s in this Space that change takes place.

More than that… it’s where you can consciously create change.

You can alter vibrations, and create your reality.

To grasp and access this Space you should go and sit in a cave for a year, with no TV, no one to talk to, nothing to read… just you and your mind.

Only kidding. Who has time for that? Instead, let’s fit this into our lives, and take it slowly, step-by-step over the next ten months.

I’m taking you on a journey to destination SPACE. It’s an internal destination and once there you’ll never want to leave.

In January, we cleared the Space around us at home. Continue doing that.

This month we’re clearing a lot of the negative chatter that comes from what you read and watch. You are training your mind. It starts with what you put into it. Choose wisely.

Month-by-month you will feel clearer. Your energy will be vibrant. You’ll be more productive and have more opportunities coming your way. Month-by-month you’ll feel happier and more balanced.

It’s not difficult. Follow the Travel Light program and it will happen. It’s simply the laws of this amazing universe.

Stateofmind

 

 

Remind yourself to follow through

Remind yourself to follow through

“I keep forgetting to do the program. I really want to do it, but I only remember once I’m in bed trying to fall asleep.”

That’s a quote from an email I got last week.

Sound familiar? If that’s you, create some visual triggers around the house to remind you to spend time focusing on the program.

Changing a habit takes work and persistence.

Use post-it notes, or something similar, as a reminder.

Before long, you’ll remember without the notes. The habit is formed.

January

January was clear-cut: declutter.

Whether or not you really did clear your external space, only you know. But the great thing about each monthly challenge is that they continue all year.

CONTINUE DECLUTTERING ALL YEAR FOR THIS TO WORK.

You don’t need to declutter daily, like you did in January, but it’s important to continue the habit… THE HABIT. And if you followed through on the January challenge then it should be a habit now. If not, you can still make it one.

This program is about creating twelve new habits that together will completely change your life in amazing and positive ways.

Got it?

Great, now choose five things that need doing next week. Don’t do them now… just choose which ones you will do.

Next, stick a Post-it note to each. The notes will remind you to do one each day next week… and toss the note once it’s done.

Alternatively, write a list of seven things that need doing and stick that to the fridge… and cross them off as you go. Notice the list, see what needs to be done on that day… and do it. No matter how small the task is the act of doing it keeps the energy flowing.

Do it regularly. Be consistent. Don’t forget… if you forget it’s not habitual. Use triggers to stop you from forgetting.

Feb

February is more challenging: filter your information.

It’s so easy to fall down the Internet rabbit hole and surf crap online. Let’s create a new habit where we use that time wisely.

As a reminder, find a photo or a meaningful quote and use it as a desktop image to inspire you to actively search out positive media and reject negative or inane media.

This is an important challenge, which I’ll write more about in my next blog.

Until then, love and light.

focus

 

Feb Travel Light challenge: update

Feb Travel Light challenge: update

I’ve been quiet for the past week because I’ve been practising what I preach… I really have toned down my online time and the content I’m consuming.

Admittedly, I’ve also had a flu, which helped.

I could barely move for days so instead I read and watched movies.

Now that I’m better, I’m trying to catch up on my work, which means a lot of procrastinating and aimless surfing the net.

Usually.

The past few days I’ve been focussed on not allowing negative and meaningless stories to filter back into my daily routine.

  • They waste my time.
  • They waste my mental energy.
  • They trigger emotional responses in me that I don’t need to have, such as fear.
  • They block me from forging new habits and new neural pathways.

The longer I refrain from clicking through on silly kitten clips and frightening news stories, the easier it becomes to move towards the content that feeds my spirit.

I’m not sure what Kim Kardashian is up to this week (and that’s a relief).

I have no idea what ISIL is doing today.

My one struggle is not knowing the latest updates on Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran’s execution date. It’s the one news story I have problems switching off from. But that’s the point of February’s challenge. My heart aches for these men and their families… their mothers. But my life is in no way connected to these men, and yet my emotional energy is being impacted daily. I’ve allowed that.

Here in Australia it will be hard to escape the media after they die. But I’m doing what I can to not obsessively watch it unfold… and instead, when they cross my mind I send light to them and their families.

I’m even swamped energetically, writing about this now… so let’s move into a more positive vibration.

This month’s challenge is to filter the media we consume. To stop ourselves from disappearing down the rabbit hole of negative media.

So what have I been doing?

  1. I’ve set up an ebay shop (remember all that clutter from January? The best pieces are on here)
  2. I’ve been putting together a teaching course.
  3. I have been spending time reading up on Japanese Yoga, the form of yoga I practise and adore.
  4. I’ve been reading more about Vipassana meditation.
  5. I’ve been planning a holiday for my kids, later in the year. There’s nothing I love more than putting together an amazing itinerary for an overseas adventure. Sometimes I think I should be a travel agent.
  6. I’ve read a couple of books and seen some lovely films.

And I’m feeling clear and inspired. How are you going?

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Declutter your mind

Declutter your mind

 

We spent a month decluttering our external environment. This month we’re starting the internal declutter.

First challenge is to FILTER YOUR INFORMATION. Diminish the meaningless and often harmful chatter. Mindfulness is about awareness. It’s not just about sitting in meditation for twenty minutes a day. It’s about being aware of every action, every reaction… every thought.

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We begin this journey by becoming aware of the chatter—the information we absorb.

  • Is it positive?
  • How does it make you feel?
  • What are the ripple effects of those feelings in your life? For example, does watching the news make you fearful?
  • What will you gain from switching off to negative or meaningless information online?
  • What will you lose?
  • What are your trigger points?—Those moments in the day where you find yourself surfing sites online that don’t nourish your spirit?
  • Can you consciously use those trigger points to add information to your life that will nourish your mind and spirit?

Think about it.

Don’t think about Kim Kardashian, or ISIL, or the cute kitten video that’s going viral at the moment…

Think about the information you consume and how you can use it to help change your life this year.

Be mindful of information.

focus

FEBRUARY CHALLENGE

FEBRUARY CHALLENGE

Okay, January is over (but not forgotten… so keep decluttering!)

This month… your Travel Light challenge is… filter your information. 

Studies have shown that your typical social media user consumes 285 pieces of content daily, which equates to an eye-opening 54,000 words, and, for the truly active, as many as 1,000 clickable links. Everyone is bombarded by the equivalent of 174 newspapers of data a day.

Each day we take in 5 times more information than we did in 1986.

Most of it’s meaningless. Much of it is negative. And each piece of media and information has an impact on how we think and feel.

It shapes our world.

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This month we will take care and be aware of what we’re reading, watching and absorbing. Don’t click on the links that take you into a world of violence. Don’t spend your time on things that are superficial or inane. Use your time online wisely… Search out positive images, videos and stories. Or turn off and read books.

Inspire yourself. Motivate. Learn. Be mindful. 

You will be amazed at the difference a month makes when you commit to consuming positive rather than negative media.

Change your habits & your life will change 

Change your habits & your life will change 

January was about decluttering your environment. Clutter drains your energy. It’s baggage you don’t need. Travel light.

I spent the final week of January howling. Why? Because decluttering your external environment impacts your internal world. I don’t mean tossing some old makeup and shoes out. I really went in deep (opened boxes) and memories, that had been stored for years. I let go of years and years of STUFF… It left me feeling raw and strangely free. Who would’ve thought decluttering could do that?

These boxes were full… now they're gone.
These boxes were full… now they’re gone.

How did you go? Didn’t quite declutter as much as you’d like? No problem. The good news is this month you’ll continue decluttering. In fact you’ll continue tossing and cleaning and clearing your clutter ALL YEAR. Habits take time, so while we’ll focus on a new healthy habit each month, we’ll incorporate that new habit into our lives for the whole of 2015.

By the end of 2015 you’ll not only have 12 new habits, but also a very different mindset and life.

Not sure why I overlooked all of this in the past.
Not sure why I overlooked all of this in the past.